why didn't you poke me back
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
