i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
