How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
But theres a keg here and me gusta
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
