I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Randomize
