just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Randomize
