All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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