Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
