I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
