honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Sacagawea was the original milf.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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