Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I supernannyed him into submission
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Randomize
