i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
