I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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