No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Randomize
