so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
