Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
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