I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Randomize
