i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
