one two three fourrrrnication!
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
this boner is exhausting
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
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