he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
