I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Randomize