Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
