My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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