On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
