Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
