Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
