You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Randomize
