Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
