D3 body, D1 cock
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Blood and glitter go together right?
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
