do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
