ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
