This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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