You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Randomize
