The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
