My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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