How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
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