nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
