I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
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