Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Randomize
