8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
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