I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
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