David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Randomize
