I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
