He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize
