I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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