I think my vagina is haunted
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
