Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
