I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
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