Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
My dad just said "fuck circus"
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
i out mim tonsoeep
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
