It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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