Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Randomize
