i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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