remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
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