sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
