My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
