I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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