dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
