We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
