Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
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