Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
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